Saturday, April 21, 2007

A Publication of


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Section B - Lighter Side & Entertainment
Section C - Editorials & Personals


In this section you will find editorials (yours and ours) and personal ads!

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In the wake of a deliberate act of war against our country, let us pray for our nation to be strong and united against the forces of evil behind these terrorist acts.  In the dawn of what may be the next world war, let us unite in patriotism to show support for those preparing to engage in combat to defend our freedom.  Let us also remember those who have already given their lives.  Let hope and faith guide our journey to a confident and fearless America that leads the way into a world of peace and friendship among nations.  Raise your flag with pride and help Vallone's World support the causes of healing in the aftermath of the unprovoked attack against our nation on September 11, 2001.

We support these war-time relief agencies:

  Salvation Army    American Red Cross    New York Firefighters Fund

God Bless America!


And now, here is a special holiday tribute dedicated to the folks who are responsible for this war:

Twas the Night Before Ramadan²
by Mullah Mohammed Omar

Twas the night before Ramadan, and all through the cave
Not a creature was stirring; it felt like a grave.

The turbans were hung by the firepit with care,
In hopes that the Air Force would not soon be there.

The soldiers were restless without any beds,
While visions of air strikes flashed in their heads.

Osama in his burkha and I in my goatskin cap,
Had just settled down for a cold, barren winterıs nap,

When out on the ledge there arose such a clatter,
I grabbed my Kalashnikov to see what was the matter.

Away from the racket I ran like a girl,
Tripped over a goat; into a ball I did curl.

The moon shone down on the new-fallen snow
And lit up the valley with an ominous glow,

When, what to my one good eye should appear,
But a dozen Apaches, and tanks in the rear,

And their leader, so fearless, his troops he did push,
I knew in an instant it must be George Bush.

More rapid than eagles his forces they came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and called out our names;

³Now Omar!  Osama!  Muhammad!  Abdul!
We come for you now; weıve taken Kabul!

To the top of the cliffs!  To the back of their caves!
When you chose this war, you dug your own graves!²

As the dry leaves that before the assault choppers fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, light up the sky,

So up to the ledge his forces they flew
With full magazines, and flamethrowers too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard with a thud
The explosions of Tomahawks; not one was a dud.

As I chambered my rifle, and was turning around,
Osama was there, disguised in a gown.

He was dressed all in drag, from his head to his toes,
And he said he would flee while I held off his foes;

A bundle of money he had stuffed in his pack,
He said ³Iım going to Baghdad and Iım not looking back!²

His eyes were all glassy; he trembled with fear;
The American bombs, they rang in his ears.

He saddled his goat, then turned tail and fled,
But a Marine Corps sniper got him in the head.

I watched with cold fear as his body did slump;
The goat threw him off; he fell with a thump.

And so, there I stood, my plans all destroyed,
About to suffer a fate I could not avoid;

I dropped to my knees; asked Allah for help,
His voice boomed in my ears, ³You ignorant whelp!

I gave you the Bible, the Torah and Koran,
But you were too arrogant to understand,

I told you to honor your neighbors and wives;
Not to enslave them, or degrade their lives!

You invoke My name to sanction your deeds,
But you are the last thing that this world needs.

And so, Iıll send you and bin Laden to Hell.²
The last words I heard, as the bombs fell,

Were from George Bush himself as he mounted the wall,
³One nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all!²

Written by Jack Falbey
Inspired by the spirit of freedom



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