A - Headline News & Current Events
Section B - Lighter Side & Entertainment
Section C - Editorials & Personals
In this section you will find editorials (yours and ours) and personal ads!
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everything that isn't right in the world (Vallone's World, that is).
the wake of a deliberate act of war against our country, let us pray for
our nation to be strong and united against the forces of evil behind
these terrorist acts. In the dawn of what may be the next world
war, let us unite in patriotism to show support for those preparing to
engage in combat to defend our freedom. Let us also remember those
who have already given their lives. Let hope and faith guide our
journey to a confident and fearless America that leads the way into a
world of peace and friendship among nations. Raise your flag with
pride and help Vallone's World support the causes of healing in the
aftermath of the unprovoked attack against our nation on September 11,
support these war-time relief agencies:
Salvation Army American Red Cross
New York Firefighters Fund
now, here is a special holiday tribute dedicated to the folks who are
responsible for this war:
the Night Before Ramadan²
Mullah Mohammed Omar
the night before Ramadan, and all through the cave
Not a creature was stirring; it felt like a grave.
turbans were hung by the firepit with care,
In hopes that the Air Force would not soon be there.
soldiers were restless without any beds,
While visions of air strikes flashed in their heads.
in his burkha and I in my goatskin cap,
Had just settled down for a cold, barren winterıs nap,
out on the ledge there arose such a clatter,
I grabbed my Kalashnikov to see what was the matter.
from the racket I ran like a girl,
Tripped over a goat; into a ball I did curl.
moon shone down on the new-fallen snow
And lit up the valley with an ominous glow,
what to my one good eye should appear,
But a dozen Apaches, and tanks in the rear,
their leader, so fearless, his troops he did push,
I knew in an instant it must be George Bush.
rapid than eagles his forces they came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and called out our names;
Omar! Osama! Muhammad! Abdul!
We come for you now; weıve taken Kabul!
the top of the cliffs! To the back of their caves!
When you chose this war, you dug your own graves!²
the dry leaves that before the assault choppers fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, light up the sky,
up to the ledge his forces they flew
With full magazines, and flamethrowers too.
then, in a twinkling, I heard with a thud
The explosions of Tomahawks; not one was a dud.
I chambered my rifle, and was turning around,
Osama was there, disguised in a gown.
was dressed all in drag, from his head to his toes,
And he said he would flee while I held off his foes;
bundle of money he had stuffed in his pack,
He said ³Iım going to Baghdad and Iım not looking back!²
eyes were all glassy; he trembled with fear;
The American bombs, they rang in his ears.
saddled his goat, then turned tail and fled,
But a Marine Corps sniper got him in the head.
watched with cold fear as his body did slump;
The goat threw him off; he fell with a thump.
so, there I stood, my plans all destroyed,
About to suffer a fate I could not avoid;
dropped to my knees; asked Allah for help,
His voice boomed in my ears, ³You ignorant whelp!
gave you the Bible, the Torah and Koran,
But you were too arrogant to understand,
you to honor your neighbors and wives;
Not to enslave them, or degrade their lives!
invoke My name to sanction your deeds,
But you are the last thing that this world needs.
so, Iıll send you and bin Laden to Hell.²
The last words I heard, as the bombs fell,
from George Bush himself as he mounted the wall,
³One nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all!²
Written by Jack Falbey
Inspired by the spirit of freedom